Thursday, December 17, 2009

Green



I am tired of being sad... have I said this before? And then gotten mired once again in the feeling that I cannot move?

I met a couple on the cruise - they were from North Carolina and very nice to chat with. During one conversation, the moment seemed appropriate for telling them that I am a recent widow. They told me that one of their best friend's husband had committed suicide a year ago and they have been helping her deal with his death. And then they said that they were wondering when the hand-holding would no longer be necessary. I know the comment took me by surprise... I don't know if my expression changed, but I thought to myself "Yes, that is how people feel; that a year is probably long enough to mourn." And then you flip a switch and move on with your life. Well, I certainly have tried. I have covered thousands of miles trying to move on, haven't I?

This season always gets me down... I'm not sure why. People are frantic to shop and spend... hoping that in that pile of gifts will be the perfect, life-altering, cue-the-choir-singing-hallelujah!, this is the best present ever!

Too Grinchy am I? Okay, green isn't my color anyway.

6 comments:

Angie said...

awww, I am sorry you are sad, AND a year isnt long enough to grieve by ANY means....and u can hold our hands for as long as u need to ....
BUT ..I do know that traveling wont make the sadness go away....no matter how far u go.....

monstev said...

We grieve in our own way and in our own time, not someone else's. No one can tell us what that is. Grieving includes those times of loneliness and sadness, it's part of the process. Not all friends will understand unless they have empathy, where they have walked in similar shoes. Once we know empathy we have the opportunity to be a friend of someone who is experiencing similar loss, pain or sadness. Can we be a true friend to them? Reaching out to another is what we need to do for our own healing, not in selfish way but in a loving way. If so, then we will experience healing of our wounds, while we walk with them. The holidays are hard. It is my hope and prayer you find the peace you desire.

Here's a long distance hug for you. (HUG) If you need another one then seek someone who your hug will help.

Ann said...

I feel your grief as I still feel my own…… they say that time is a great healer….I say it is a great rounder of sharp edges, sticker on of patches. The time this takes is immeasurable.

Anonymous said...

you simply put a smile on my face and bring happiness into my heart with this kind of photo. it's great, thank you!
and let me wish you a really happy new year 2010

http://still-life.over-blog.fr

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry I have left some words under the photo without reading you before... I know life can be hard sometimes and I hope this new year will be nice and tender with you.
still-life

Brent said...

Your tree photograph is starting to make more sense. I feel ya on this one.