Monday, March 02, 2009

watching her

Mr. C

What grief counselors tell you:

"It's okay to cry."... I knew that.
"No one can take my grief away."... I knew that.
"Everyone grieves in their own way."... I knew that.
"There are stages of grief."... okay, if you say so.

It all feels the same to me.

It feels heavy. It feels as though I have been set adrift.
I'm not drowning, just drifting further away from what I knew as safe and comfortable.

The dance that was my life has stopped. The days and nights pass... and the calendar pages turn, but I do not own this new life.

What has the cardinal to do with all of this? I am not a bird expert, but I have observed that the male cardinal is never far away from his mate. He watches as she feeds, usually going in to the feeder in advance... making sure all is safe before he calls to her.

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