Picture This

Too Early

2012-01-25T15:17:00.000-05:00

When I first noticed these confused-by-a-mild-winter daffodils, I thought I would shoot close up. But the long lens was on the camera so I changed my mind and went for a bit of context. I like this... the green stems having pushed up through the fall leaves and the tree trunk lit by a sunny afternoon in January.

Stolen Pixels

2012-01-22T10:24:00.000-05:00

I've changed the background image of my blog, using one of my images. I don't know why I just went with the template defaults... easy or lazy? But with all the discussion of piracy and SOPA and PIPA recently, I see (possibly) stolen images everywhere. I wonder if permission was granted to Google or if the template images were purchased from a stock agency or if they were just found and copied because they filled a design need.

I am surprised at the number of people who think that if something is online, it's free... or should be. And I'm even more surprised by the number of my photographer friends who are against any sort of reprisals for theft of intellectual property. Yet they would be in an uproar if they found one of their photographs being used without their permission. Why is a movie or a software program any different?

I am not for or against the proposed SOPA and PIPA bills. I haven't read them in full. Maybe they go too far, I don't know. But I am in favor of punishing those who steal and their indignance at being held to a higher standard is ludicrous to me. Am I a goody-two-shoes? I assure you I am not. But we must all agree to play fair; especially since, thanks to the internet, we are all neighbors.

Now, people have said to me "If you don't want it to be stolen, don't put it on the internet." Surely, we can do better than that. But this brings me to another question that I have asked myself and other photographers: If you couldn't show your photos to anyone... not online or in local galleries or at camera club meetings... would you still take them?

Stacked

2012-01-13T13:29:00.001-05:00

“Art is not to be found by touring to Egypt, China, or Peru; if you cannot find it at your own door, you will never find it.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I firmly agree with RWE on this point. I really like this image and it's certainly something I see on a daily basis. And the bowl I usually need is on the bottom of the stack.

Although I love my photos taken in far away places, I love the ones from own door just as much. A photo of a leopard resting in a tree is my treasure; evoking memories beyond the animal itself. Sitting in an open, 4x4 vehicle, snapping pictures of such a majestic creature was an extraordinary experience. Capturing my everyday life is just as rewarding. Here's another favorite quote:

“Photography is not about the thing photographed. It is about how that thing looks photographed”. - Garry Winogrand

Golden

2012-01-11T13:13:00.000-05:00

Ahhhhh, what a difference a day makes. I have a plan... well, the beginnings of a plan. Nothing too life-altering, but enough of a challenge for me. Today is a brighter day, in spite of a bad dream and waking to thunder storms.

I love the fact that pansies survive the winter, in fact they thrive on it.

P.S. Sometimes the universe knows best and should not be questioned. ;-)

Faye's Five

2012-01-10T13:40:00.001-05:00

I don't have a plan.

I'm not sure if I've ever been much of a long-range planner. I've always been more of a survivor and a take-advantage-of-an-opportunity type. If a job opened up that I wanted but was not quite qualified for, I went out and got the training or whatever was needed to be seriously considered for the position. And I've had a fairly successful life so far. Serendipity has been good to me.

And for the past few years, all that I have focused on is survival so I didn't feel as though I needed to accomplish much else. But when people say "If you could do anything, what would it be?", I don't have a good answer. I think I touched on this not too long ago when I wrote about wishes...

I'll be working on a plan then - time's a wastin'! As the saying goes: if you don't know where you're going, any road will get you there.

Don't go in the garden shed...

2012-01-07T15:57:00.000-05:00

I think that garden/tool sheds have a definite masculine energy. While men might consider them a necessity, a utility space for their tools, mowers, etc and think of them fondly, I find them spooky. I never open the shed door without wondering what might have crawled inside and is waiting for me. Too many movies, I suppose.

But I wanted to see if there was an additional rake inside before going off to buy a new one, so I (deep breath) took the padlock key and set off (camera in hand) on my quest. No rake (at least not the type I needed), so as I closed the doors, I turned to look at the house. Seemed so far away. No-one would hear me scream.

A long and winding road...

2011-12-31T10:07:00.000-05:00

Went on another trip down memory lane this morning. One of the contributors to the local paper had written an article titled "If it ends in a '2', it's bound to be a good year". So, I took a trip back to 2002. The first challenge was 'where are the photos'? I wasn't sure about online galleries (though I would find them there also), so I went to the physical album. Looking through the trips to Florida, New York, the mountains and waterfalls of the Carolinas and Tennessee brought back lots of memories - good memories. The nice thing about 'real' photo albums is that you can add non-photo momentos. I found a leaf in the 2002 book. I wish I had made a note of where I found it. It was next to a postcard of the Tybee Island lighthouse, so perhaps I found it there.

And from December 2002, my money shot. "Wired Ice" was very successful.

I wish you a Happy New Year and may 2012 be a very good year for us all!

One thing leads to another...

2011-12-24T07:35:00.000-05:00

This morning I went hunting a particular photo from... one year ago? Two? This happens often; I go looking for one thing and find something else. What I found today stopped me in my tracks. Words left as a comment on one of my galleries from someone who, before that year was out, would walk away from her home - never to be seen again. She had battled depression for a long time and finally one day, she could fight no more.

Donné, thank you for these words:

"I do not know you - but the beauty and sadness I saw in your words and photographs made my soul ache. Am I glad Kees Terberg (my internet friend, an outstanding talent with a golden heart) led me to your blog? I have to say yes.

Why? To know that my heart can share your grief, your honesty, your courage proves that I too am like you. Be proud, unkown friend, for your ability to touch people with a click of a shutter and the ink of a pen. Actually....... I do know you."

Merry, Merry and Happy, Happy

2011-12-23T13:30:00.002-05:00

"Maybe Christmas, the Grinch thought, doesn't come from a store." ~Dr. Seuss

Sit back while I rant...

2011-12-15T13:08:00.000-05:00

I went to visit my local park today and I left disgusted. The park has been under renovation for over a year and while there is still a lot of road construction going on, it's basically open to the public again. But it's horrible. What used to be a natural area with lots of trees and grassy areas is now mostly green-roofed pavilions and parking areas.

I have spent countless hours at that park over the years... going to baseball games, taking photos of the lake and wildlife and sometimes just sitting and thinking.

All of the shoreline in the photo above is gone. I am very sad at this 'development'.

Smile for the camera...

2011-12-08T08:28:00.001-05:00

When photographing cats you must realize this: Cats don't pose, stay in one spot or follow any directions. The only thing I can do is place some props on a table and hope that the cat's natural curiosity will (if I just keep clicking away) get them into the same frame, facing in the general direction of the camera lens.

I've given up trying to get both cats in the same photo. If they do happen to both jump up onto the table at the same time, a hissing/slapping fit ensues and one (or both) will jump down. And then there's the lighting issue. Enough light (I use two Alien Bees) to properly light Beau's fur will blow out Sofia's white coat, leaving no furry detail whatsoever.

I think the last time I caught them in a photo together was in 2008 and it wasn't a studio shot. I had left a basket on my bed and came back to find this:

"Say 'Tuna Fish!'"

Remembering

2011-12-01T12:16:00.001-05:00

As this day approached, I tried to decide how to get through it... everything from treating it like any other day to staying in bed, hiding under the covers.

I thought about going to lunch or dinner at a place that we used to enjoy. I have learned that revisiting places alone is not a good idea. I knew that hiding wasn't the answer either. It's been three years and yesterday was almost as difficult as I expected today to be. When you look back at the worst day of your life and then to the day before - before you knew what was coming, it's frightening. It brings home the fact that life can turn on a dime. The life you've chosen, the plans you have made can all be thrown out of the window in less than twenty four hours.

So, I am doing some cleaning today; something productive and something to keep the mind busy. And I have found things I thought were lost and things that I've kept for no apparent reason.

The photo above was taken the day before.

Fly Away

2011-11-30T14:20:00.001-05:00

A couple of weeks ago, I found this pink balloon in the bushes along my driveway. No idea where it came from... a birthday party? The birth of a baby girl? Anyway, I brought it up to the house, intending to put it in the trash, but dropped it into the recycle bin instead. And then I forgot all about it as the recycle bin filled up. Yesterday, after the trash had been emptied, I noticed the balloon lying by the street in front of my house. Apparently it was rejected as a recyclable item.

As I left this morning to run some errands, I stopped and took this photo and then I put it inside the car - once again with the intention of throwing it away. As I finished my last errand, I opened the back door of the car and out it flew (it's very windy today). I turned to try to catch it again but it was out of sight.

The End.

Room 309

2011-11-25T11:36:00.001-05:00

Post holiday, get-back-to-normal days... and I must get back into a photo-making routine. I haven't done a photo-a-day project for two years; maybe I need that commitment to ensure that I at least get the camera out of the bag more often.

For now, I just need to get through December.

Calendar Days

2011-11-15T14:55:00.001-05:00

I worked on my 2012 calendar today. I have been making personalized calendars since 1998. The early versions had either family photos or copies of some of my paintings. Back then I ordered calendar kits and printed and assembled them myself. Those were also the days when I hand-painted my Christmas cards. The volume of each was very small. Thank goodness for the availability of online printing!

Each year, when I begin the photo selection process, I realize that I am more likely to compose a shot in portrait mode than landscape. Since I prefer calendars to be in landscape orientation, finding twelve images (thirteen with the cover) is not so simple. And every year I tell myself that next year... the calendar will have to be in portrait mode.

Last look

2011-11-09T14:42:00.000-05:00

A late blooming rose set against the autumn color outside of my window. This view often has a negative impact on my productvity... causing severe bouts of daydreaming. I dread the time that the trees will be bare and the view will be boring and a little depressing. But that is something over which I have no control... the world keeps turning.

One, Two, Three, Four

2011-11-08T14:45:00.000-05:00

I admit that I'm not afraid to roll down the window when I'm in my car, waiting in line for one thing or another, in order to take a picture. I'm rarely disappointed in the results. I will also admit that I have a problem with landscapes - always have, even when I was painting. I feel much more comfortable with still lifes, portraits and macros. Landscapes overwhelm me a bit... I'm never sure where to end it all, what to include/exclude, what is the focus?

And I have to say, that with a few exceptions, my landscape images don't "wow" me. Don't get me wrong - I love the landscapes of other, more proficient photographers; those who seem to know how to frame the shot. Which brings me back to the open car window. Not that I consider this image a landscape, but I think in some way, the window frame gives me a reference. Not unlike holding up ones' thumbs and forefingers in order to evaluate a composition.

Another anomaly - I don't seem to have this problem when shooting infrared. Does black and white simplify the scene for me? Allowing me to place the elements in an interesting composition?

Autumnal Palette

2011-11-04T14:20:00.001-04:00

Each autumn I am taken over by the color display put on by mother nature. Then, about midway (now) I start to feel as though I'm taking too many photos of leaves. I try to turn my attention to other, non-autumnal subjects but the color outside my window continues to hold my gaze. And later, during the non-autumn months, those images of gold, red and orange still please me as I flip through my galleries.

Another color also caught my eye today... possibly the last rose of summer. A pink rosebud stood out among the golden hues, against the blue sky.

Leaf Peeping

2011-11-01T12:52:00.003-04:00

I spent a few days visiting my family in North Carolina and took a drive to catch some autumn color. It was a perfect weekend - coolish temperatures, blue skies and lots of reds, yellows and golds. This shot was taken at a lake (could not find the name of the lake) at Crowder Mountain. The leaves here at home are just beginning to turn, so there may be more leafy photos to come. :)

Here is a wider view of the lakeside:

Autumn

2011-10-16T10:53:00.000-04:00

Autumn... it struck me this morning, as I read Monte's post, that with all of its usual meanings (harvest, cooler weather, falling leaves, pumpkins), Autumn also signals the close of the year. Whatever we did or did not accomplish this year is past. The gain or loss is in the books. 2011 is at its end... there may be a couple of months left on the calandar, but for all practical purposes - it's done.

For some, that's a relief. Relax... there's always next year. Too late to start a new project now... with the weather, the holidays, etc. Just sit back and watch the leaves fall, watch as the sun sinks lower in the sky and nightfall comes almost before the dinner dishes have been cleared away.

I'm sure there are some who would say - nonsense! There are weeks left... plenty of time to make something happen. And to them I say "Relax. Tie up the loose ends of 2011 and then sit back with a cup of your favorite hot beverage and let it go."

It's not that bad...

2011-10-12T13:35:00.000-04:00

Or, so said the fortune cookie. The other fortune said that I will soon gain something I have always wanted. I don't know what that would be. I can't think of any thing that I have always wanted. There have probably been things that I've wanted at certain points in my life, but always wanted? Hmmm... maybe peace of mind. The luxury of not having to worry. That would be nice.

Quiet

2011-09-24T11:22:00.000-04:00

I went to the park this morning for some fresh air. The county has been renovating this park for over a year.. I really thought it would be finished by now.

Since the playground, pavillions and walking trails are still closed, there was no one else there. Not a cloud in the sky and only the sound of an occasional flock of geese announcing their plan to take off.

Autumn or Fall

2011-09-17T13:40:00.001-04:00

Throwing "never shoot at midday" caution to the wind, I went out to photograph some of the early leaf changes. Most of the leaves haven't turned yet, but there are a couple of trees in the back yard that have a little bit of color.

These berries on the dogwood branches caught my eye and the shade protected my shot from the harsh sunlight. I caught a bit of the blue sky and although this is a good representation of the day, I might have preferred (compositionally) to not have the blue spots. Oh well... it's a beautiful autumn/fall day!

Peace and Love

2011-09-15T13:33:00.001-04:00

I'm feeling overwhelmed lately by haters. They're everywhere. Even close to home - which makes me especially sad. Apparently, it's easy to hate something or someone. Most people's hate is directed toward a group or an idea or some inanimate object. It's not as common to hear someone say "I hate so-and-so". I take that back... in politics, the leaders are often the target of hatred, but more for what they represent than who they are as a person.

Hate is everywhere in the news, it's everywhere in social networking and it's so contagious. 'That tv show/driver/speech/store clerk pissed me off, so I'm going to tweet about it or post on Facebook.' It has crossed my mind that happy, well-adjusted people are not online.

I did not watch the Tea Party debate on Monday, but I have seen video clips from it and when Ron Paul was being asked about a hypothetical person in a coma, but without health insurance (his choice) and the moderator asked "would you let him die?" There came shouts from the audience "Yeah!" "Let him die!"

But I also saw the video of people rushing in to rescue a motorcyclist who was under a burning car. They lifted the car and pulled the injured man from underneath the vehicle.

It frightens me that I may know more people who would let someone die rather than risk their safety to help a stranger. I hold out hope that the hater's words come from ignorance and bravado and mob mentality and if faced with a split-second decision to help , they would do the right thing.

Chicago and other memories

2011-09-09T08:34:00.001-04:00

Cleaning dirt and dust is a job that be done without much thought and after a certain amount of physical exertion, the job is done. You put away the broom, the glass cleaner and the dusting cloth and you're finished... ready to move on to something else.

Clearing out a closet (or anywhere else where things have been stored for years) is a different process. Old clothes are donated, other stuff goes to recycling centers. But some things that are uncovered cause you to pause and remember. Old photos, notes from friends - not necessarily things that you thought had been lost, but things that had just been forgotten.

And so, this chore takes time and pulls at emotional threads.

About this photo: I spent a couple of years consulting for a company in the Chicago area. On this day, the office staff went on a lunch?dinner? cruise on the lake. I found the packet of photos during the closet cleaning. One thing I hate about film - no date info! :(

Silky

2011-09-04T15:16:00.001-04:00

While waiting for the rains from tropical storm Lee to arrive, I figured it would be a good day to clean out the last closet. Unfortunately, they all eventually get back to the state where they need another cleaning, but this one would bring them all to a state of relative orderliness.

I never imagined how much stuff was crammed in there. There were clothes (four large bags ready to go to Goodwill this week), computers, computer bags, briefcases, books (programming guides), cables, cords, and financial records/papers from 1996. Good grief - what a mess!

However, I also found this robe... which I will not be giving away.

And it's still not raining..

Hum Away

2011-08-29T13:13:00.001-04:00

2003

2006

2011

I don't know how many times over the years I have tried to photograph hummingbirds, but I'm sure the number of shots is in the thousands. I have always tried to catch them away from the feeders, with those bright red plastic flowers. I remember once, I set up the camera on a tripod, added one of my Alien Bees lights (because of all the trees, it's hard to use a fast shutter speed) and snaked a shutter release cable through the kitchen window so that I could stay indoors and hopefully not inhibit their coming in to the feeder. Sigh...

So, I have given up/in. I don't have the patience anymore to wait for them to get into just the right spot. These three photos are the only decent shots I have gotten over an eight year period. That is way too labor intensive.

Ronda

2011-08-26T16:21:00.001-04:00

I got my hair cut today. Ronda has been my hairdresser for over thirty years! When I finally found someone who understood my naturally curly hair - what it would and would not do - I vowed never to let anyone else touch my hair.

We've been friends through all of each other's ups and downs. When I went through chemotherapy and had no hair, she helped me find a wig. When her daughter was stricken with cancer, I went to her house and took family portraits for them. Melissa passed away a month later. When I was traveling every week as a consultant, she would come in to the salon on Saturday to cut my hair... even though she didn't work on Saturdays.

When she went to work at a salon in downtown Atlanta, she offered a few of us who live in the suburbs the opportunity to come to her home instead of driving so far. Multiple Sclerosis and other medical problems have forced her to work solely from her home for some time now. The atmosphere always reminds me of Truvy's Salon in the movie Steel Magnolias... very familiar and comfortable.

Today, a small lizard had somehow gotten inside and scurried across the floor towards the dining room.

I wonder who that was.

Another Find

2011-08-25T15:01:00.001-04:00

While working on my 2011 SoFoBoMo book today, I came across my first SoFoBoMo project from 2008. The theme was "What Remains" and I really think it's a much better effort than this year. I hate to say that... and maybe with a few years distance, my 2011 images will look better to me. So, I published it to Blurb and ordered a copy. I also realized that didn't publish my 2010 SoFoBoMo book - maybe next month.

Sweet Treat

2011-08-24T12:31:00.000-04:00

When I was growing up (in upstate New York), there was a family reunion every summer. My mother's side of the family would gather at a nearby state park and everyone brought something for the meal. My mom had twelve brothers and sisters, so there were plenty of aunts, uncles and cousins in attendance. And it seems like there was always a new baby for everyone to oooh-and-aaaah over.

I remember the men would cook hamburgers and hot dogs on the grill, the ladies would get the picnic tables ready and the kids - well, we ran all over the place. A swim in the lake was always delayed until after we had eaten.

There were salads, casseroles, pies and cakes. And watermelon.

Now I'm really hungry... and missing those days.

Done!

2011-08-22T14:58:00.000-04:00

"Gather up the fragments that remain, that nothing be lost."

I have finished my SoFoBoMo project. "Lost & Found" was a much tougher theme than I anticipated. Found is easy enough... but Lost - well, if I could photograph the things that I've lost then they wouldn't be lost. So, YES, I had to think outside of the box. I don't know if I succeeded but I do know that I will be very glad not to have to categorize every photo idea as either Lost or Found.

The photo above links to the gallery on Pbase. I'll probably upload my book file to SoFoBoMo tomorrow.

Out with the old

2011-08-17T15:00:00.000-04:00

Northern Cardinal. I was concerned that the Cardinals' plumage seems less-than-healthy lately, but found this online: "Molting takes place in late summer after the breeding is over. Adult birds lose all their feathers gradually and new ones grow in before fall."

So... even one of the most striking birds at the feeder has to go through a period of re-feathering. Lucky for them they don't have mirrors. ;-)

Took lots of photos today and it feels good!

Ch-ch-ch-changes..

2011-08-15T20:08:00.000-04:00

I love this metal flag. I bought it many years ago... can't remember which festival or crafts show. It's hung high on a tree and when the wind picks up it flaps back and forth. I tried once to get a long exposure of it dancing in the wind, but couldn't get everything just right.

I noticed this morning that the sun is already lower in the sky and the shadows are getting longer. Autumn can't come too soon for me.

Stuck

2011-08-07T15:27:00.001-04:00

I am struggling with my SoFoBoMo project... finding it difficult to keep my thoughts focused on the theme (Lost & Found) and so - photo ideas are not popping into my head.

I won't give up yet, but my heart doesn't seem to be in it. I have until Aug. 28. My original idea was the summer heat and since I seem to be obsessed with that, I probably should have stuck with it. But I worried that the theme was too narrow and it would be boring. Did I over-think again?

It's Not Complicated

2011-08-06T18:46:00.000-04:00

sim·plic·i·ty [sim-plis-i-tee] noun: Freedom from complexity, intricacy, or division into parts.

Sometimes I tend to make things way too complicated and then sometimes I am able to see the beauty of simple lines, tones and light.

Crazy Dreams

2011-07-31T10:37:00.001-04:00

I had strange and crazy dreams last night. Someone broke my heart, another stole from me and I was lost in a parking garage. But... I could pick up my car (a Lincoln Continental - have never owned one but I'm reading the second 'Lincoln Lawyer' novel). This morning I asked myself why everyone was so mean to me. The answer? Because I let them. As true in my real life as in my dreams.

Well - no more. I've already begun erasing people who have a very peculiar way of showing that they care about me. And don't get me started on the passive-aggressives...

So - treat me right or I'll throw a car at ya! ;-)

If you don't know it's missing, is it really lost?

2011-07-29T13:23:00.000-04:00

I accidentally found two to-do lists today. I say "accidentally" because they were inside a notebook and I need a notebook tomorrow and... there they were.

One was a list of things that need to be done in/around the house. Half had been completed (Yay me!!). The other list appears to be New Years resolutions. *sigh* I think it must have been from 2010, because I'm quite sure I didn't make the perfunctory gesture this year.

Now - on the latter list, I have at least made some progress on all but one of the "promises". So... I'm not feeling completely disappointed in myself. And I am going to keep the lists in sight and hopefully they won't get buried or filed away somewhere again.

Ahhhh... birthdays, a good time to reflect and make any necessary course corrections.

Time

2011-07-24T10:14:00.003-04:00

I tried for two days to write about time. All of the clichés came to mind. It doesn't heal all wounds and it never stands still. You can't hate it or love it - it just is.

"Clocks slay time... time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels; only when the clock stops does time come to life."

William Faulkner

Reading my mind or Minding my reading

2011-07-22T22:07:00.001-04:00

I realized an odd fact this evening: Since I have had my Kindle (about three years), I have only purchased one non-fiction book (thirty have been fiction). When I was buying "real" books, my ratio was probably closer to one in four being non-fiction.

Why the change, I wonder? When I used to frequent Barnes & Noble all the time, I went straight for the new releases display and browsed the selections. Occasionally, I would have a title in mind... something recommended by someone. But usually, I chose a new book based on seeing it, holding it, reading the synopsis on the back (or inside) cover.

Now, when I am ready for a new book, I browse Amazon.com or go with a reference from a friend or (in tonight's case) I see an interview with the author and decide to take a look ("Send a Sample" in Kindle-ese). And when I browse Amazon, I usually filter out the non-fiction, though I have no reason why.

Apparently, our tastes and preferences change - imperceptably, it seems.

Note: This is a photo of my book list on my phone, not of my Kindle.

Words fail me

2011-07-21T13:04:00.000-04:00

Have I lost my rhyme?

In the learning to be alone,

Do I still hear the cadence?

Do I still feel the words?

In their absence, do I ramble?

And say nothing?

The sweet poetry has become a stranger.

I once felt it as a comforting quilt.

Making sense, it flowed from my soul.

Images became words and words became dreams.

I took them for granted, perhaps.

And one day, as the sun set, they left me.

Long ago and far away...

2011-07-20T14:33:00.001-04:00

I cannot believe that today is the anniversary of the first moon landing and I have heard nothing mentioned anywhere. Not even a Google-Doodle! Patooey! on Google.

I worked for a Nasa sub-contractor in the Flight Crew Training Building during the later Apollo missions, but my husband worked there from Apollo 8 (I think) onward. It was an extraordinary place to be at that time. Not only was it exciting to work side-by-side with the astronauts, but to also see the VIP visitors who came through the building for a tour.

There is a photo of me talking to Jim Lovell somewhere in this house, but I haven't been able to find it. The only photo of me ever taken with a Hasselblad. :)

This is a photo of a photo taken by Neil Armstrong on July 20, 1969.

Stung

2011-07-18T09:03:00.000-04:00

I received a mean email last night, which only proves the wisdom of my decision to cut this person out of my life. When someone tries so hard to hurt your feelings, it makes you see how toxic they really are. I think he measured his words very carefully, for maximum stinging power.

I am usually a pretty good judge of character. Most of the time my first impressions are accurate. This one got past my radar... lesson learned - require references.

Redux - Primate Style

2011-07-14T07:58:00.000-04:00

I'm very excited about the new Planet of the Apes movie. When the first one came out, I went to see it, if not quite under protest, at least with an attitude of "I'm not going to like this one bit."

In those days we went to the movies regularly with another couple. We took turns choosing the movie, in an informal "I chose last time - it's your turn this week" manner. So, when someone else made "The Planet of the Apes" their choice, I was prepared to be bored and intellectually insulted. (I have to laugh at myself sometimes.) But it was true... I was haughtily, begrudgedly there for a movie about apes, for god's sake. (rolls eyes)

When the movie ended and the lights in the theater came up, there was a huge smile on my face. "That was fun!"

In Memoriam

2011-07-13T12:19:00.000-04:00

I learned yesterday that my first boyfriend has passed away. I don't know what happened, the obituary said that his death was "unexpected". We had not kept in touch over the years, so my memories of him are still those of teenager. A couple of months ago, I came across a slide that my dad had taken as we were leaving for the prom. I've processed it to protect his privacy - but believe me when I say... we were oh so young!

It occured to me that my first love and my last love have both preceded me in death. And that the statistic that men die younger than women is probably true. My heart goes out to his widow, because I know too well the emptiness and heartache that she is now facing.

Rest in Peace E.C.

And Gary, I miss you every day.

Shelter

2011-07-11T13:30:00.003-04:00

It began to storm while I was out today. Luckily, I had finished my errands and was on my way home. It was a welcome rain, both refreshing and cooling - if only slightly.

The rain makes everything clean again... the air, the pavement, the leaves and the grass. It isn't magic of course, but just for a moment it feels that way.

Guilty or Not

2011-07-06T16:09:00.000-04:00

I was just thinking... someone ought to write a "Verdict" software program. Plug in all of the details: the crime, evidence, witness statements, expert testimony, yada-yada-yada and bingo! Out pops the verdict.

No more emotions being displayed for the benefit of the jury, no more objections, sidebars or motions. No more lawyers. Easy-peasy.

Now, about that pesky 6th ammendent. Hmmmm...

Beeing

2011-07-03T09:11:00.000-04:00

Sometimes, when editing a photo, something will be just "not quite right" but I can't quite put my finger on it. If I flip the image upside down, I can see the colors, shadows, highlights, lines, curves, etc. without the interruption of the subject/scene. It is especially useful for seeing something that might be distracting my eye, though in the right-side-up image, it was not as obvious.

If we could only do this with people... who may seem to be one thing and yet there is some nagging doubt or suspicion about their true intentions and/or actions. Just a thought...

Just for the fun of it

2011-06-30T11:27:00.000-04:00

Summer roars on, the heat is stifling and staying cool is a priority. I don't remember being sensitive to the heat (or the cold) when I was a child. Although I grew up in upstate New York, I can tell you that the summers get hot there too... it just doesn't usually last as long as it does in the South. I guess I have become acclimated to air conditioning and ceiling fans. :)

Looking for it

2011-06-26T11:09:00.001-04:00

I feel as though, for the past ten years (?!) I have flitted from flower head to cat's nose, rarely missing a beat. Especially while I was doing the PAD project. Don't get me wrong, today I look back at many (most) of my photos and fall in love with them all over again... and wonder if it was really me who took that picture. It almost felt easy.

So... now the hard work begins? Is that where I find myself today? I can't accept that. On some days, I feel as though there's a photograph "right there"... just out of my line of sight. If I could just turn my head in the right direction or stand up to peer over whatever obstacle is blocking my view, then "it" will be there, ready and waiting for me to bring the camera to my eye.

"Photographic technique is no secret and – provided the interest is there – easily assimilated. But inspiration comes from the soul and when the Muse isn’t around even the best exposure meter is very little help. In their biographies, artists like Michelangelo, da Vinci and Bach said that their most valuable technique was their ability to inspire themselves. This is true of all artists; the moment there is something to say, there becomes a way to say it." - Ralph Gibson

Refresher Course

2011-06-25T13:31:00.001-04:00

I am suffering from a severe lack of creative inspiration. I think the hot weather plays a role (for me), as I've mentioned this before during the summer months.

I'm going to have to get back into photo-shape if I'm going to take part in the SoFoBoMo project next month. So... what to do? Focus (pardon the pun) on a specific subject for at least a "roll of film"?

Today, I've pulled out my copy of "Once" by Wim Wenders... looking for a spark, a nudge, an idea.

Stars and Stripes

2011-06-14T08:48:00.001-04:00

I didn't realize until this morning that it is Flag Day. So I thought, well - that's cool. I can certainly get a photo of a flag today. There are garden flags, the "real" one on the front of the house and numerous others around the house as well. We Americans put our flag on everything that doesn't move and on some things that do! And I love it. Some people might say that it loses its meaning when it is plastered everywhere. I don't agree. I think we may take it for granted and after a while we don't even notice. But we would notice if all of them suddenly disappeared. My most precious flag is the veteran's funeral flag presented to me after my husband's death. It is safely folded and stored in a glass case on the fireplace mantle.

I don't care if people outside of this country think that we over-flag. This quote by W. Somerset Maugham comes to mind:

"It is very difficult to know people and I don't think one can ever really know any but one's own countrymen. For men and women are not only themselves; they are also the region in which they are born, the city apartment or the farm in which they learnt to walk, the games they played as children, the old wives' tales they overheard, the food they ate, the schools they attended, the sports they followed, the poets they read, and the God they believed in. It is all these things that have made them what they are, and these are the things that you can't come to know by hearsay, you can only know them if you have lived them."

Anew

2011-06-07T12:51:00.000-04:00

It is what is is and what it was shall never be again. The word "still" (as in "yet" or "unchanged") is an impossible concept. Even if you have the same routine from day-to-day, it will always be slightly different. A dream, a conversation or something read in a book will change the way you see things... even the very same things that you saw yesterday. Which makes it impossible to go back; back to the way things were, back to the same place. We can only move forward.

Faith

2011-05-21T12:20:00.000-04:00

The full moon is waning and the prediction of the end of the world has been disproved once again. That these people have a following always makes me shake my head in disbelief. But, I suppose the heart wants what the heart wants. As fallible humans, we put our faith in people and ideas that don't always make sense and cannot be proven or verified. That's the foundation of religion, right? And of love?

public meanness

2011-03-27T11:19:00.000-04:00

"public meanness"... I heard this ascribed to YouTube and Facebook today and it just fit. I've said many times that for some, Facebook is a forum for being mean/snide/hateful without having to physically face the object(s) of their vehemence. It has seemingly become okay to attack persons/groups in the name of a "I refuse to be politically correct" stance. Political correctness is one thing, common courtesy and fairness are another.

But social media has its merits too; uniting people in a common goal - relief efforts for natural disasters, overthowing a corrupt government and disseminating news quickly are all worthy by-products. And it feels good sometimes to get things off your chest, but we have this notion that our words go out into cber-space and somehow disperse into thin air. They don't. And they can't be taken back.

“When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson." ~ Will Rogers

what's next?

2011-03-17T14:30:00.000-04:00

I haven't posted in over a month and my absence has not been totally accidental. I've been considering moving (this blog) to another location. And because of that, I have avoided adding anything new here. But, here we are... on a sunny Spring day... photographing tulips and wondering what's next.

The world is in such a mess that I don't know what to say. My little world is fine and I'm grateful for that much. I am still haunted by what an unidentified woman in Japan told the reporter: "I have lost everything. I don't know if it's good or bad that I survived." I can empathize with her; there are things worse than death.

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood...

2011-02-15T13:30:00.000-05:00

I listened to the news before getting out of bed this morning... I really shouldn't do that, it sets a bad tone for the rest of the day. But on the upside, I met two of my neighbors while I was delivering the trash to the curb this morning. Pete and Sally live behind me and they've lived there for twenty years. I've seen them walking in the neighborhood every morning (rain or shine, hot or cold) but I never knew where they lived. I know that sounds odd and it is. My house is set way back from the street, so waving and saying "Hi" to passers-by doesn't happen. And in the summer, when the leaves are on the trees, I'm even more secluded. I like (love!) the privacy, but it doesn't promote chit-chat over the backyard fences. And although they live directly behind me, the trees block a clear view of their house from mine. But I have noticed them working in their garden over the years.

So... now I know Pete and Sally. :)

Then I went to the park with my IR camera...

Perseverance in less than 420 characters...

2011-02-08T11:29:00.000-05:00

I tried to post something on Facebook today, but it exceeded the maximum number of characters allowed for a status update. It's not important, but then what on Facebook is? Some people post about every move they make. Some post outrageous, provocative ramblings. And some never post or comment, they only 'Like' other people's stuff.

So... what was so important? Well, I had struggled with a problem and it seemed that I wasn't going to get a resolution. I hate to give up; it's both a blessing and a curse. When my hard drive failed last month, I had to reinstall everything. I had been using a Photoshop Plugin from Topaz Labs for a couple of years and it was one of my faves. However, after the hardware failure, I lost a ton of emails - one of them being the license key for this product. I'd searched everywhere for it for nearly two days. This particular product has been replaced by two new products; which, if all else failed, I could purchase those and have the same capabilities - but... :( So, I sent an email to Topaz Labs and they re-sent the license key. Yay!!!

Moral of the story... keep the licensing information in a safe place.

What does the above photo have to do with this? It won a couple of contests and was processed using the PS filter that I now have back in my toolbox. :)

Happy Coup d'etat Day!

2011-02-03T13:14:00.000-05:00

On this day in 1992, I arrived in Caracas, Venezuela for my second three-week stint as an IT consultant for the local cell phone company. The first indication that something was amiss was when we were met at the airport by a limo driver. Although this was part of our contract, it hadn't happened on our first trip in January. Five of us and our luggage piled into a town car and we headed for Caracas. Soon after leaving the airport, the limo driver spoke with someone on a walkie-talkie and told us that there had been a fire in the tunnel between the airport and Caracas and we would have to take the longer route to the city. Another red flag, although we didn't know it at the time.

We saw many military vehicles along the road... with soldiers... with guns. There was always a large police and military presence in Caracas, but it seemed heightened on that night. Someone asked the driver about this and he said there had been a big drug bust and that was the reason for the extra security. That made sense to us - afterall, this was Venezuela.

We continued to the city and we were dropped off at our hotels around midnight. All seemed calm and normal until the next morning. The project manager called me and said that there had been an attempted coup d'etat overnight and it was being reported by CNN. He suggested that I call my family to let them know that I was alright. I hadn't heard any unusual noises during the night and I called my family to reassure them that I was fine.

No sooner had I hung up the phone when I began to hear gunfire and what I would later learn was mortar fire. You see, the hotel where I was staying was adjacent to a private/military airport and the fighting had moved from the downtown area to the airport. Of course, we were advised not to leave the hotel for safety reasons. We gathered downstairs in the hotel restaurant and discussed our predicament/situation. The project manager had called the US Embassy and was told that we could go there, but because of the proximity of the hotel to the fighting, it would be safer to stay where we were. To say that this was surreal for me is an understatement. In the past, whenever I heard of Americans finding themselves abroad during this type of event, I thought to myself "Well, they should have known better!" And I should have. When the recruiter called me about this assignment, he said that Venezuela was the most stable democracy in South America. That was probably true, but everything is relative, right?

Anyway, back to the battle... on the opposite side of the airport from my hotel were several tall office buildings and the military had placed snipers on top of these buildings. There were also military tanks and trucks in the streets next to the hotel. This was all visible to me as I peeked carefully from behind the curtains of my hotel room.

We all agreed to meet in one of the rooms that did not face the airport.. to pass the time playing poker. Most of us were staying on the fifth floor. I remember this because after I had gone back back to my room for a while and then headed back to the game, just in that ten minute time lapse, a bullet had come through the window of an empty room, through the door and lodged in the hallway wall.

By the end of the day, the coup had failed and the military had retaken control of the airport. We all went back to the office the next morning, although we heard sporadic gunfire in the neighborhoods surrounding the office building throughout the day.

I finished my four-month contract, but when they asked me if I would extend it, I declined. Even without a coup d'etat, Caracas was too dangerous for me.

Noticed the boarded-up windows in the building.

cupcake wars

2011-01-29T17:03:00.001-05:00

I had such high hopes for today. Well, I had plans anyway. I did manage to get the car washed and the oil changed. Funny thing... being a woman and going to get the services normally handled by the menfolk, I am always aware that 1) the men running these places are sure that I haven't a clue about anything automotive or home-repair-ish and 2) I am therefore gullible and ripe for being sold goods and services that I do not really need. So, at today's oil change, the service technician brought two pieces of paper to me, each with a puddle of oil. The first was the differential fluid and apparently it needs be changed, but it will probably be okay for another year. The second oil sample was from the engine and it seems that I will need "an engine oil flush" soon because there is a lot of sludge (?) in the oil. I said that I'd keep that in mind, but just the oil change today, thanks. A few minutes later, he brought oil samples to another woman who was also getting an oil change. She signed up for the engine flush... I never saw any samples being shown to any of the male customers, although there were several in the audience.

So, home I went in my clean car with new oil. There I attempted to get the garden fountain flowing again. I cleaned out all of the dirty water, refilled the basin, although I never could get much water pressure out of the hose (another winter casualty). Flipped the switch for the pump - nothing. So I sat in the sun for a while and enjoyed the warmth.

I guess the universe would prefer if I stuck to baking cupcakes and if I could, I would!

Yesterday

2011-01-20T07:29:00.005-05:00

Back when I was a digital camera newbie, with a Sony F505, I joined a camera forum group at DPReview.com. It was a great place to learn the technical capabilities of a camera (there were forums for every camera manufacturer). Members posted photos and shared the specifics about their shot. I not only learned how to use the different functions of my camera, but I learned a lot about composing and general rules and guidelines.

Once a month there would be a photo challenge. A topic would be announced and a deadline (usually about three weeks out) given. The photo had to be taken within the three week period and taken with a Sony camera, although eventually the rules were relaxed to allow other cameras' shots to be entered into an exhibition gallery. As I look back on this now, it was an invaluable learning experience.

When I upgraded to a DSLR, a Fuji S2, I became a member of the Fuji forum. The level of experience and expertise of the new group was much greater than my own. The Fuji forum members didn't conduct photo challenges however (this eventually changed)... and that was a shame. Photos were posted and discussed, but I missed the spirit of the competitions and often posted my Fuji photos in the Sony exhibition gallery. I did, however, come to know a superb photographer - Paul Walters - and he was doing a photo-a-day project on Pbase. I liked the idea of the discipline required for this type of commitment and so I began my first PAD project in June 2003.

Eventually, the forums became more of a place to gripe about the technical deficiencies of a camera, rather than just taking and sharing photographs, so I stopped visiting.

I revisited the Sony Challenge galleries at Pbase yesterday (they are still there!), for old time's sake. It was fun to look back at my entries and to remember some of the other photographers. I am posting three photos: the first is my very first public posting of one of my photos and the other two are photos that won their respective challenges.

Challenge #3 - "Anything Wet"

This was actually ineligible for the challenge because it was not taken during the challenge period. I had taken it while on a cruise in the Mediterranean. It is horribly out of focus, but that makes me smile today - I can still remember the trepidation I felt at showing my photo to strangers.

Challenge # 28, "Patterns and Repetitions"

"Acorn Assembly"

Challenge #35, "Shadows and Silhouettes"

"Blue eyes"

Then and Now

2011-01-04T08:42:00.000-05:00

I visited my sister-in-law last week and she had boxes (and boxes) of old photos from her sister who passed away last year.

There was a photo taken of the back of my house; not sure of the date, but the house was still very new (lower left corner). So many changes and additions have taken place over the years. There were other photos of me and my in-laws sitting on the patio. I tried to think back at what I felt about my life at that time. Being caught up in children, school and career, I think I felt that the best was yet to come. The early years of a marriage, parenthood and finding one's way in the world seem to be a struggle when you're in the middle of the storm. But there are no guarantees that when you get the kids through school or when you get the promotion you wanted, that life will be a breeze.

There have been some very good years between these two photographs. Did I recognize that when I was living through them?

Twenty-one

2011-01-01T09:49:00.000-05:00

They say (whoever "they" are) that it takes twenty-one days to make or break a habit. Is it easier to make a new/good habit than to break a old/bad one? Can a new/good habit be defined as the 'not doing' of the old/bad habit? I think it can.

I'm not going to list the habits that I have decided to make and/or break... "they" might say that I should, because that will reinforce the promises to myself, to make them known to the world. I disagree. But I will tell you that one involves a crown and a realm. :-)

But it is difficult to change overnight. We are creatures of habit and the familiar feels good. We may have unhealthy habits, but going outside of our comfort zone is... uncomfortable.

So, here's to feeling uncomfortable for the next twenty-one days. After that, it'll be smooth sailing. ;-)

Buh-bye 2010

2010-12-27T12:43:00.000-05:00

As I began this year, I looked beyond the dreaded foot surgery to... visitors from afar, road trips around the southeast and generally moving on with life. Of course, life moves on whether you're ready or not.

There were good times and there were also losses. Life can turn on a dime, make no mistake about it.

So, I have no grand expectations for 2011. I don't know where life will take me or what hurdles will be placed in my path. I can only hope there is more laughter than sadness.

Not Enough Photos

2010-12-19T09:55:00.000-05:00

I have been unable to find any Christmas morning photos from when I was little. I have asked my mother and we've both looked through all of our photo albums. I found one, taken at the post-Christmas dinner table at my Grandmother's house and my Grandmother has just opened a gift. My older sister is in the picture and she passed away not too long afterward.

There are tons of photos taken at other times of the year, but none from Christmas morning. I found one taken on Easter Sunday, outside my Grandparents' house, of two of my cousins and myself. It seems we always got new "outfits" for Easter and we were showing off our new coats. There is quite a lot of snow on the ground too. But it's not Christmas.

Maybe my dad, who was the photographer in the family, wasn't a morning person. Maybe he wasn't a fan of Christmas... which would explain a lot about my lack of enthusiasm for the holiday. No, that's not true. When my son was little (above), Christmas was fun because his expectations were sky-high and we tried not to disappoint him.

I don't know... I guess as a photographer, I want there to be more pictures.

Get up, dammit!

2010-12-13T10:47:00.001-05:00

For years, we've had two lighted deer out on the lawn at Christmas time. The rest of the year, they are stored in the basement. I thought I would drag them out this year because I really do think that they look pretty at night and it seemed a simple enough task.

Now, I must tell you that my lawn slopes downhill - all of it. So getting anything that is meant to stand on level ground... doesn't work well. My husband used to come up with all sorts of methods to get these creatures to remain upright. Wood, rope and 'whatever' was used. I never examined the how's and why's - the deer were standing, they remained standing throughout the season and I was happy.

So much the metaphor for my life now that I am the one who must figure out how to keep things upright (including myself). But I try. I take each hurdle as it comes and deal with it as best I can. But there are moments that I look to the sky and say "Really? This is going to be my test today? A damn deer?"

"Now you listen to me, young lady! Even if we're *horribly mangled*, there'll be no sad faces on Christmas!" The Grinch, to Cindy Lou Who.

Words

2010-12-06T14:08:00.000-05:00

I am reading Pat Conroy's "My Reading Life". He's been a favorite author of mine for a long time and I find it interesting to read about the books and the people who gave him inspiration. I feel that way about any artist - to learn what brings them to the page or the canvas or the lens is fascinating to me.

Mr. Conroy writes about keeping journals - of words; words that he would hear or read somewhere and feel a connection. They would eventually, when he would return to them, help him weave wonderful stories.

I remember...

2010-12-04T09:37:00.000-05:00

a big, plastic, lighted Santa Claus.

once, coming downstairs before Santa had been there. we went to my sleeping parents' bedroom, understandably upset. "Go back to bed for a little while.", mom said. we went back upstairs, heard the rustling of paper et voila!. Santa had arrived.

Christmas dinner at my Grandmother's house... with all of the aunts, uncles and cousins.

an aluminum Christmas tree... seriously - it looked like tinfoil. I think this was when we lived in Florida... it sounds like Florida.

bubble lights... I still love 'em and have lots of them, stored in the basement.

my mother always made sure my little sister and I had the same number of gifts... usually the same thing, but in different colors. in her defense, my sister and I would fight over anything and everything.

my maternal grandparents had thirteen children and we went to their house on Christmas Eve. my Grandmother would start shopping in September and every grandchild got a gift. they had very little money, so this was no easy feat.

the best times.

To tree or not to tree...

2010-12-01T17:00:00.000-05:00

I don't think I've ever not had a decorated tree in my home at Christmas time, but this year may be the first. It's not just that there's no-one to put it up and take it down for me becuse I could easily get a small tree. But I don't think the presence or absence of decorations will make me any less sad.

It's not a grinch thing... I sincerely hope all the Who's down in Whoville have a wonderful Christmas.

Locked Up

2010-11-23T08:14:00.001-05:00

I am sick-to-death of the scams and cons. The constant vigilence necessary to keep my money, computers, home and self safe is exhausting. No longer can I assume that 'most' people are honest and 'most' situations are safe. More and more of my time every day is spent checking locks, alarms, bank accounts and generally looking over my shoulder.

If all of this is a sign-of-the-times, then the times are very bad.

I cannot understand

2010-11-20T11:04:00.001-05:00

I have been trying all week to write about someone who chose to take her own life because she could no longer deal with her illness. I haven't been able to find the words, because I cannot understand and I hope and pray that I never know what complete hopelessness feels like.

Tell me how a soul can be so lost

and swallowed by despair,

that walking into nothingness

seems easiest to bear.

I cannot understand.

Please save us from ourselves

2010-11-13T11:15:00.000-05:00

When will people stop expecting the government to run their lives for them, especially when it comes to eating healthy foods? The voters in San Francisco voted to keep toys out of fast food kids' meals... unless or until the kids' meals are healthy. When I first heard this, I thought it was absurd, but I considered the craziness of San Francisco.

The mayor of San Francisco announced recently that he will veto this Happy Meal ban. "Parents, not politicians, should decide what their children eat, especially when it comes to spending their own money. Despite its good intentions, I cannot support this unwise and unprecedented governmental intrusion into parental responsibilities and private choices.", said Mayor Newsome.

Exactly. And the same thing applies to too much tv watching, violent video games and anything else that you, the parent, believe is harming your children. If you expect the government to do the parenting, your kids will grow up thinking that if it's for sale, it's good for them and if it's on tv (or the internet), it must be true.

Rituals

2010-11-10T10:00:00.001-05:00

I don't have any. I don't like repetition and maybe that's why. Other than paying bills on certain dates, I don't have any daily rituals. This suddenly seems a bit odd to me. If I ever have to take medication on a daily basis... well, that's going to be a challenge.

I don't have a 9-5 job and if I did, I'm sure my days would be more regimented. I don't wake up or go to sleep at specific times. I eat when I get hungry and I pray when I feel sad or overwhelmed.

Crikey! This revelation is making me feel like such an slacker! Well, of course, I do things, go places and generally accomplish tasks, I just do them... whenever.

I think (maybe) I should introduce ONE thing into my days that MUST be done at a certain time. Or... should I make it weekly? Daily seems like such a chore. Hehehe....

Here today, Gone tomorrow

2010-11-08T11:21:00.000-05:00

I am not a writer. I use words to express what my photographs mean to me... and sometimes I have something to say and I will use a photo to get the words flowing.

Yesterday, I noticed the late light shining on the surface of the pond. There's a fountain that generates ripples on the water; ripples that transform the reflected light into abstract forms - never the same from one moment to the next. Then, I like to add something to the scene in order to create a contrast between liquid and solid. I like seeing the points of tension, where the 'thing' meets the swirling current.

This once-crunchy leaf will eventually absorb enough water that it will slip beneath the surface and begin to decay.

That's what leaves do.

She was released on her own recognizance...

2010-11-05T15:13:00.000-04:00

If my thought process today had left tracks, they would resemble a maze. No, a maze is not a good example as it's too organized.

Long ago trip to the amish country in Ohio -> Photos? -> Were they film? Are they in boxes? -> No, albums. -> The albums were organized by year. What year did I make that trip? -> *goes to living room, albums have been bookcased* -> Wait, I have a photo of the albums! -> *goes to Pbase to find photo* -> When did I take the photo of the albums? -> Hours later, the album photo had not been located. -> Back to Ohio? -> Back to 'real' albums.

The year was 2000, the camera was digital (Sony F707) and my photography skills were non-existent.

the office

2010-11-03T14:08:00.003-04:00

My recent cleaning/straightening/clearing out around the house has enabled the rolltop on the desk to... roll! It's an Autumn miracle!

One day last week, I decided that it was time to empty the closet. It was much more difficult than I had anticipated. Once I decide to do something, I'm a rip-the-band-aid-off type person. There was no way this task was going to be quick and/or easy, however. But I did it... it took me most of the day and then I donated the clothes to Goodwill. I kept a few items that held special memories for me. More on this later...

When my husband passed away, I remember many people saying "Whenever you decide to clean out his things, let us know and we'll be glad to help." None of them was here last week when I needed them.

Back to my cleaning... .

Free Hugs

2010-10-19T09:58:00.000-04:00

I took this photo a couple of years ago at the Festival of the Photograph in Charlottesville. VA. A fellow photographer posted a similar "Free Hugs" photo yesterday at Pbase. Some of the comments were "No way!" and "I'll pass on the hug!" and I can understand that reaction. The world we live in has become a place where we are immediately wary of anything free, let alone an invitation to make physical contact with a stranger. This is with good reason of course. There's no shortage of people in the world willing and able to take advantage of anyone who dares to trust.

Don't get me wrong - I don't fantasize about a world that is one big hug-fest. Hugs will never rid the world of evil, but wouldn't it be nice if we didn't assume that a hug had an ulterior motive? Or that people didn't feel the need to wear a sign offering free hugs?

By the way, I gave a hug to the guy in this photo... I felt I was in a safe environment and I wasn't alone. I have to admit though, that on the streets of downtown Atlanta - I would have passed by him... quickly.

In the 'hood

2010-10-15T12:29:00.001-04:00

As you can see, it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. The leaves are slow in changing color this year - possibly because the hot weather stayed through September?

I looked at the utility bill lying on my desk this morning and realized that I still haven't put the utility accounts in my name... more loose ends that seem to get pushed aside as they aren't critical to daily life. But I know that to be thorough I need to take care of these types of things, so I'd better start a list.

But there's a more urgent problem that needs to be addressed... squirrels have eaten a hole through the siding and into the garage attic area, so I need to A) figure out how to cut a small piece of wood to cover the hole and B) nail it into place. It won't be pretty...

twenty-three

2010-10-14T10:34:00.002-04:00

Nothing is working these days... Life's a struggle that repeats every twenty-four hours. I know that I have to move forward... look forward.

This year marks twenty-three years of being cancer free. In the past I have always given myself a little high-five for still being here. This year, I don't feel as though I have survived.

I'm not producing any photographs that make me happy, although I sold three prints last month.

I am reminded of something a friend once wrote:

"Being aimless is looking at a flower and seeing a flower. Aimless would be never confronting fear or seeking an understanding of its cause and being held captive by it. Aimless is living on one’s knees. Aimless is being someone else and never knowing it.

And as often as necessary, breathe"

Luxury

2010-09-10T14:51:00.000-04:00

This was one of my favorite places on my tour - Chobe Safari Lodge, Botswana. After two nights in Johannesburg, this was my introduction to "the wild" No tent camping for me! Through those doors and across an expanse of lawn is the Chobe River. There was plenty of wildlife roaming around the grounds.... monkeys, wart hogs and exotic birds to name a few. I was there for three nights and when we left, I was wishing that I could stay for another week. It was so peaceful and relaxing. I think I was just beginning to recuperate from the long flight and the urban setting of Jo'burg.

Long Ago and Far Away

2010-09-09T10:46:00.000-04:00

A year ago, I had just arrived in South Africa and was on a tour of Soweto. This photo was taken inside Nelson Mandela's home.

We also visited the monument commemorating the 1976 Student Uprising:

We had lunch at the Sakhumzi Restaurant:

This is a popular place and was quite crowded. The food is served buffet style and the line was long. The closer we got to the food, the more people cut in front of me in line. Eventually, most of my group had filled their plates and were on their way back to the table. One of the last of my tour group, who was about seven or eight people ahead of me, reached through to take my arm and pull me up to where he was. I'd probably still be there... in line... had he not come to my aid.

This was my first full day in South Africa and I think my body was still adjusting to the time difference and the long flight.

Yesterday

2010-08-08T11:42:00.000-04:00

Me and my son Todd, Daytona Beach, circa: never-you-mind. ;-)

I went looking through old family photos yesterday and found several that I knew I must scan and keep online... because, as in the case of this polaroid, they will deteriorate over time and cannot be replaced.

I loved the awkward crop of this... though I also wish there was more of our shadow. Todd was dressed warmly, so it must have been winter. The fact that I am apparently in shorts testifies to the mildness of Florida winters.

Coffee Table Book

2010-08-06T08:58:00.000-04:00

My 2009 Photo Journal arrived from Blurb yesterday. I'm more than happy with the way it turned out. The print quality is good and it's such fun to see all of my photos together. As I leafed through it last night, I remembered taking each photo... where I was and what I was feeling at the moment.

I would advise all photographers to do this. My 2009 book was big because I traveled so much last year, but I couldn't possibly have left any of them out. I consider this book a gift to myself.

there are closets to be cleaned

2010-08-04T14:40:00.001-04:00

"Beyond this place there are dragons."

Closets full of:

Clothes that don't fit

Purses and shoes, long out of fashion

Books that, for whatever reason, don't warrant a spot in the bookcase

Seasonal decorations... Red,White&Blue and Easter pastels

But nothing that will not evoke a memory or two.

flora sunrise

2010-08-02T22:28:00.000-04:00

Playing with flowers... it really is too hot for photo expeditions, so I'm shooting mostly indoors.

Summer is half gone. The schools will be back in session soon and autumn will follow. The seasons pass by; like watching sailboats from the shore, they glide past our vantage point. In summer the white hot sunlight fills the sails and the sound of children playing on the shore fills the air. The breeze is a welcome coolness on suntanned skin. As autumn approaches, the skies are less blue and passing storms disturb the calm surface of the sea. Boats head for the safety of the harbors and bays, the beach is nearly abandoned and we begin our preparations for the onset of winter.

So... we are mid-way through the season. Last chance for vacations to sunny beaches, last chance for flip-flops and shorts, last chance for sunflowers.

Paperwork

2010-07-26T15:24:00.001-04:00

Renewing the passport and other administrative tasks:

Today is another scorcher outside, so I've been clearing up the piles of paperwork on my desk. One item was the renewal of my passport. It doesn't expire until Feb. 2011, but I won't be traveling internationally before then, so this is a good time to send it off. Never has getting a photo EXACTLY the right size been so difficult. 2"x2" overall size, with the distance from the tip of my chin to the top of my head (including hair) to be not less than 1" and not more than 1 3/8". I think I finally got one to be close enough.

A year ago today I was on my way to Maui for a week. I was avoiding spending my birthday at home, alone. It was a beautiful and exciting distraction, but this year I am staying home and taking in some local events - laser show and a baseball game for instance. It's just a date, right?

"Waiter!! Another martini, please."

left behind

2010-07-25T19:06:00.000-04:00

As I lay in bed the other night, I realized that:

No one will mourn when I die... not the way someone who has lost their other half mourns.
No one will touch my pillow and miss seeing my face there.
No one will gently touch the clothes left in my closet and bring them to their face, trying to remember my scent.
No one will feel the emptiness in the house, every minute of every day.
No one.

But that is okay... because I wouldn't wish these feelings on anyone.

Let's Go!

2010-07-17T17:17:00.000-04:00

I have just spent most of two days creating a photo book of my 2009 photographs. I knew I had done a lot of traveling last year, but seeing the the pictures from each trip in one place is amazing. It seems as though I was always taking photos and always going somewhere. I'm not sure where I found the stamina but the memories are worth it. This year has been a quiet contrast; I had planned it this way but I think I need a few more journeys to round out the year.

Which reminds me, I have to renew my passport!

sitting here, waiting for happy

2010-06-30T09:20:00.001-04:00

I finished my SoFoBoMo book yesterday... I wish I could say that I learned something in the process; or that I feel newly inspired or have felt a sense of accomplishment. Instead, the conclusion is anticlimactic.

The summer drones on... with extreme heat and severe thunderstorms. I went to the pool yesterday morning. I like to get there early to enjoy the peace and quiet, while also getting some exercise. I can't tolerate the hottest part of the day, even in close proximity to the water. I remembered another time, a couple of years ago, when we came early to the pool. The first thing I usually do is clear the toys, floats, etc that have blocked the skimmers overnight. On that morning, when I pulled away the toys, I was greeted by two huge bullfrog eyes! Can I walk on water? Perhaps not, but I can move very quickly! Jeremiah hopped out of the skimmer basket and into the pool. He was eventually rescued and evicted from the pool area (read: over the fence). I didn't realize at the time what a happy memory this would be.

We take these moments for granted. If I had looked around me on that morning, I would have seen the happy, smiling faces of my family; not one of us could imagine that it would ever be anything different. There is a phrase "The world was made round so we would not see too far down the road."

So now I am waiting for happy, hoping I will recognize its smiling face.

sprint to the finish

2010-06-24T15:40:00.000-04:00

I have nine days to finish my SoFoBoMo project and still need eight photos... I'm experiencing more distractions than abstractions, it seems. I need to keep clicking!

Summer is only days old, yet we are having our 10th (or 14th, I can't remember) day of 90+ degree temperatures. America has fallen in love with soccer... sort of. At least there is more interest, discussion and watching-on-tv than I have seen in the past. It's too bad that some people are so fanatical about it all. Sheesh... get a life, folks! Have a Cherry Coke!

the games people play

2010-06-17T22:15:00.001-04:00

I am trying very hard to get into the World Cup; partly because I know that it is the number one sport in the world and also because South Africa holds a special place in my heart. I even bought a decal for my car (see above).

But... it's just so exasperating; all that exertion for very little reward. Not just scoring a goal but just getting the chance to attempt scoring a goal. I find myself thinking "If I had been playing this game since I was a little kid, I should be better at it."

And nooooooo, I am not soccer-bashing, which seems to be all too prevalent in this country. And I readily admit that I know precious little about the rules and nuances of the game. And I understand that other countries look at some of the USA games and yawn.

So I asked myself why my favorite game to watch is baseball. I think the answer is precision. The players have very specific places to stand, the location of the bases is precisely defined and the ball must cross the plate within the parameters of a very small box. And it would be impossible for a player to score a run for the opposing team.

Maybe if soccer teams had more players or if the field was smaller...

The Shrimp Boat story...

2010-06-15T16:00:00.001-04:00

We were heading out (away from the casino, hehehe) to do some sightseeing. We spotted three shrimp boats in the inlet, headed in the same direction as us. We tried to get ahead of them, in order to have time to stop and take photos but "No Left Turn" signs kept us from getting into position.

We finally came to a traffic light, made a turn and parked next to the dock. I grabbed my camera and headed for the dock... there was one last boat headed toward me. I lifted the camera to my eye and... I couldn't see a thing! The camera was still cold from the hotel room and the outside air was hot and humid. The lens was fogged up and the boat was getting closer! I wiped the front of the lens but that didn't help much. The lens was a zoom and as they are not air-tight, the inside was also fogged up.

I took several shots anyway, hoping I would be able to bring the ship out of the mist in post-processing.

Here is the image as it came out of the camera:

catching up

2010-06-15T14:48:00.000-04:00

I'm putting my camera down for the day. I'm caught up and on-track with my SoFoBoMo project and I can relax a little.

It's amazing how quickly you can get out of the habit of taking photos. I've been really lazy lately... seeing possible photos and not picking up the camera. This current project is giving me a nudge, but I still fell as though I am in limbo - in every aspect of my life... not just with photography.

We will see...

wait for it...

2010-06-12T11:18:00.000-04:00

I had seen this shot back in March, when I took this photo:

... but I didn't take the time to get it. We were on the same route yesterday and pulled off the highway to get the "8" image.

Meanwhile, I have lots of photos to process from my week traversing the Southeast. I have no shots of oil on the beaches though because while we were there, the oil hadn't reached the Mississippi coast... I doubt it will remain untouched for long.

SoFoBoMo Cover

2010-06-03T13:08:00.000-04:00

Abstraction is the process or result of generalization by reducing the information content of a concept or an observable phenomenon, typically to retain only information which is relevant for a particular purpose.

Distraction is the diversion of attention of an individual or group from the chosen object of attention onto the source of distraction. Distraction is caused by one of the following: lack of ability to pay attention; lack of interest in the object of attention; greater interest in something other than the object of attention; or the great intensity, novelty or attractiveness of something other than the object of attention.

I finally settled on a theme/topic for my SoFoBoMo project. I feel good about it and I think it is broad enough to give me options, yet narrow enough to provide a cohesiveness to the 35 photos. My initial book description is "the art of seeing". How often do we "see" things because our brain makes assumptions and fills in the blanks... and our lazy eyes just fall in step? "Yep, that's an apple.(or a bridge or a boat)" But if we just see, just look - at the shapes, the light and dark, the lines - it doesn't matter what "it" is, only that our eyes take control and the brain follows.

"A thing is not what you say it is or what you photograph it to be or what you paint it to be or what you sculpt it to be. Words, photographs, paintings, and sculptures are symbols of what you see, think, and feel things to be, but they are not the things themselves." Wynn Bullock

the doldrums

2010-06-02T10:03:00.001-04:00

There are no waves, no currents to carry me.

T he days and weeks fly by and yet I have not moved.

I sit, holding on to my piece of wreckage and I wait.

I made a splash once and nearly lost it all.

I floundered into the unsure waters, with the greatest of confidence.

And discovered, almost too late, that it was just a mirage.

So now, I survive and wonder.

"Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would choose pain." ~ William Faulkner

the cat worrier

2010-06-02T09:34:00.000-04:00

So Now... I have become the cat worrier. There was a heavy downpour last night and I could hear the Mama cat meowing on the deck. I opened the back door, she wouldn't come inside. I opened the garage door and put out some fresh food to lure her inside - no go. So I finally put a tarp over a couple of chairs and gave her a place to at least get out of the rain. I should add that there is a very large dog house that I bought for the outside cats last winter and it is ten feet away from the deck; a nice, cozy, dry refuge that they refuse to use now.

And I worry about her three little kittens. They are so afraid of humans that if I open the door while they are playing on the deck, they immediately jump off and hide underneath the deck. There is a reason I'm not a farmer...

where have I been?

2010-05-31T15:05:00.000-04:00

It certainly was not my intention to completely drop out of sight when I stopped the Photo-a-Day project. I haven't any excuses. I attended the photography event in the Smokies and had a wonderful visit from two dear friends from South Africa, but beyond that - I've been lazy with the camera and the words. I shall attempt to make amends starting tomorrow/next month/June.

The SoFoBoMo project begins tomorrow... well, the "fuzzy" month begins tomorrow. The 35 photos need to be taken during a 31 day period, between June 1 and July 31. I may shift my start date - better decide soon, eh?

There is also NaBloPoMo and the June theme is NOW.... I can't decide if I should combine the two.

AND I have another project coming up... I will be on a road trip next week to Mississippi and Florida, celebrating my niece's birthday and I plan to take lots of pics and put them into a book ("Fifty is a four-letter word") for her.

I think that's enough on my photo-plate for the mo...

first and last

2010-05-06T10:25:00.000-04:00

I attended a three-day photography event in the Smoky Mountains last weekend. In the past, I had purposely avoided these events because 1) I don't like the idea of lining everyone up in the same spot and shooting the same thing and 2) I'm not a "group" person... I don't enjoy hanging around meeting rooms - even with fellow photographers.

So... although I love the photo above and also several others that I took over the weekend, I will not be signing up for another organized photo shoot. However, I will continue to travel to places that I want to see and take photographs on my own.

My Lilac History

2010-04-13T10:45:00.000-04:00

Occasionally I will go back to my photo galleries to look at pictures I took a year or two or three ago. Today, I couldn't help notice a recurring subject - lilacs. I went back as far as 2006; I think my lilac bush was planted at least a year before, but took time to bloom.

2010

2009

2008

2007

2006

Lilacs

2010-04-11T08:25:00.000-04:00

"April is the cruelest month, breeding lilacs out of the dead land, mixing memory and desire, stirring dull roots with spring rain.”, T.S. Eliot